Depos and Demons

B and I met about 3 years ago. He was in the process of getting a divorce and it got messy. Very messy. While I do not believe in trash-talking on social media, even when it’s anonymous, I will say that she is a narcissistic witch of a woman. They have three kids, A, C, and H. They have become my family; my kids; my demons. You see, if it weren’t for them I wouldn’t have to make a New Year’s Resolution to let shit go. Let the little things roll off. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Because the ex? “L”? She’s certainly been a source of anger and resentment on my part these past couple of years. And if B hadn’t been as loyal and such a good man as he is, he wouldn’t have tried as hard as he did to keep his small and eventual large family together. I say small then large because he had the hopes of having babies to fix crazy.

Didn’t work.

Quite the opposite.

But he tried, bless him.

But let me say this.

Ladies, if you have children with a man that you once loved and wanted to have said kids with, please don’t be a C U Next Tuesday and ruin it for them by freaking out when it comes time to get a divorce. Especially if the divorce is your fault. Move on bitches. Hold your head up high and move the eff on. Focus on your kids. On yourself. On finding a better life. Just don’t ruin everyone’s life in the process!

I had a child with my ex-husband. He basically decided one day that he did not want to be married anymore, so he asked me to leave. I proceeded for the next three months to find a condo and move our 2 year-old son out with me. (Yes I took my child with me because it was better than the alternative-more about this in later blogs) He didn’t blink an eye. I blinked several. I should have fought for the house we bought together. I should have fought for more child support because I have Z all the time except for every other weekend. I should have fought. But I didn’t. I valued my sanity and my mental health, however fragile, more than the fight. I wanted to be strong and sound for Z. So we remained friends and off and on still friends even now.

But she? She fights for everything. Time sharing. Calls. Money. Receipts. Schools. Haircuts. HAIRCUTS!

It’s so over-the-top it’s incredible. Which is why I have given up worrying about it. He’s frustrated tonight because a deposition was moved to a week late and a hearing to next month or something other or that.

Did I mention that they are actually divorced? Oh yeah. Have been for about a year or more. But the hits keep coming. When you’re dealing with a psychopath they usually do.

It’s unfortunate. Sometimes I wish my kids didn’t exist because it would be easier. But then I realize I refer to them as “my kids” and I bring myself back out of that hot mess of a thought.

Eff the system that doesn’t support good fathers.

Eff the women who think they know it all and are better than the fathers.

And eff the fathers that take advantage of the bad-ass baby mommas like me.

Just. Be. Kind. To. Each. Other. For. Christ’s. Sake.